Technology moves fast, and that often means that we as a society are quick to jump into the latest and greatest digital advancement without much thought for its potential repercussions and consequences. The biggest way technology has changed society is in how we interact and build relationships. We are left to consider, what happens when a relationship goes digital? In short, my philosophy is that digital connection is best when used to enhance a relationship with strong in-person chemistry and time put in, but can be problematic when online interaction is relied on too much for a relationship’s strength.
In my personal experience, technology can bring so much good to relationships at all levels. I can call my parents and family back home when I do not get to see them in person for months. I will text a friend to see what they are up to and if they want to come over or go do something. Or conversely, if I have had a bad day, a friend is never too far away. Whether I need to hear the voice of someone far away or see someone down the street, technology can help me accomplish those things. That being said, online relationships themselves are not deepening for me if they do not work to enhance my in-person communication. If I solely talk to someone over Snapchat or text, that relationship can only go so far. In high school and perhaps earlier in college I was more interested in just keeping in contact with a great volume of people, but now that I am older, I look for relationships with depth. I try to spend less time talking to people online and focusing my online communications to result in face-to-face interaction.
In Program or be Programmed, David Rushkoff explains that communication is only 7% verbal, while the other 93% comes from nonverbal cues. This means when someone texts me “I’ve had a bad day today lol,” what does that mean?? Are they being sarcastic? Is “lol” trying to not be serious while being serious? If someone tells me that in person, I can read their face and other factors to better understand what they are saying. What Rushkoff does not elaborate on is through digital communication we also lose context. In high school, I was far more anxious in my online communications. I was not mature or knowledgable enough to consider outside factors that contribute to how someone texts me or how long it takes, etc. I used to take it much more personally when I did not hear back from someone in a while or at all. Now that I am older, I have a better understanding of these contexts as well as who my good friends are. When I don’t hear back, I think, well I know they have a big test this week, or I didn’t really text them anything important, so I don’t really need to hear back soon. If a good friend doesn’t respond, I know better than to think they mean it personally or they do not like me. I didn’t always know that.
As citizens in the world and on the web, it is important for us to consider how digital we want our relationships, and that can vary from friendship to friendship. Some of my closest friends I only really communicate with when I see in person and some I stay in regular online contact with, but it is important to have somewhat of an overarching philosophy when it comes to digital friendships. Personally, I have made it my goal to shift my emphasis further and further from digital to real when it comes to my friends. Sitting on my phone messaging a friend will never replace or usurp spending real, quality, face-to-face time.
Media in our World 